Saturday, September 27, 2008

God pour your peace over me!

I can't sleep for I have too much on my mind. I have come to a few life changing crossroads in my life and I seem to be horrible at making decisions. Maybe it is a fear of commitment, fear of making the wrong choice, but none the less it is fear. Funny how fear can control your very existence. It seems to bounce in your brain like a never ending ping pong match. I feel my faith being tested. I don't like being faced with big decisions that can change my life. For sometimes I feel I have nothing to lose and only things to gain, but I still want to hold on and not make a decision. How do you ever really know that you made the right decision? Will I end up having regrets in the end and always wishing I had made a different choice? The only thing I can do is to let go of all control and trust God. Why is that so hard to do? I know He wants the best for me. I know He knows my future and it is great. I want to live by Jeremiah 29:11, but yet I find myself restless and not being able to sleep. Sometimes I wish there was a pause button for life unitl I could figure things out. Maybe I am not suppose to figure everything out? All I can do is pray for peace. I want to be overflowing with God's peace. I want to rest knowing He will show me the answers in due time and things will work out for the best.

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